Naty's Spooky Corner

Twilight

★★★★★

Sunday, August 8, 2021, 11:10 PM

Ugh, I know. I’m talking about this movie now. No don’t worry, this doesn’t mean that I’m running out of content. What it does mean is that I’ll be having a special surprise coming hopefully in early 2022, so stay tuned for some more fun adventures with Naty!

Any who, as much as I would love to gush and pour my heart out about my secret obsession with the Twilight series...that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Even as someone who was the target audience for this series when it came out, I can’t help but hate it - and for good reason too. So just in case you’ve been living under a rock during the late 2000s or you’ve somehow been able to avoid this tween girl fave, “Twilight” is a cursed love story between normal, bland human Bella and dark, mysterious vampire Edward.

High-school student Bella is an awkward, sullen misfit teen, which is only amplified by her late-school year move cross-country. Determined to make this year a normal one, her world is quickly thrown upside down after meeting dreamy McDream-boat Edward Cullen. Driven by her curiosity and her insatiable desire for this pale, yet oddly attractive moody teen, Bella begins to discover more and more about Edward, until she finds out just how natural the supernatural really is….(dun dun duuuuunnnnn). After confronting Edward about his vampirine truth, Bella is eager yet shy about spending more time with his coven, other vampires saved by Dr. Cullen. But just as she’s feeling more comfortable with the “in-laws'', a group of nomadic vampires appear and put her life in danger.

Again, if you’ve somehow managed to escape this movie, there are spoilers ahead:

Okay, so as much as I want to be a hater, even I have to admit, there’s something so stupidly enticing about this movie series that I just can’t put my finger on it. Could it be the unintentionally comedic lines that are delivered with a deadpan stare and monotonous voice? Could it be the strangely placed montages with Edward and Bella that are wayyyy too overly dramatic? Or could it be that I’m secretly Team Edward? Nah, Jacob all the way (whom you learn more about in the second movie of the FIVE, yes, five part series). But seriously, don’t watch twilight because you’re craving a serious, intelligent movie. Watch it to see some glittery vampires swoosh around and play baseball during a thunderstorm. Because let’s be honest, that’s one of the best scenes in the film.

Now, I could go into complaining about how shallow Bella’s character is, how downright brain-dead the conversations are between Bella and Edward. But at the end of the day, this story is a tween girl fanfiction through and through. And what it is, is exactly what you get on the screen as well.

Overall:
Laugh Factor: 5/5
Cringe Factor: 6/5
Spooky Factor: 1/5

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